Dear ,

Every day I check on Facebook what my friends and others are posting and since quite a while I do this in a very conscious way, which brought me to the following questions:

1) What effect does all this information have on me?

2) What do I do with all this information?

First of all it overwhelms me. It puts my brain in a kind of “trance” and automatism – which makes me stick to it. It captures me, kind of manipulating me to keep on scrolling.  

And second I realize that it is impossible to really process all this information. Although the Facebook algorithm only shows me a certain amount of posts – the amount is already so much that my brain doesn’t know what to do. The information comes and goes – but most of it does not really settle.

I follow quotes, well-intentioned advice, positive news and bad news, family pictures and self-displays, advertisements, promises and much more.

And behind all this I can often feel the loneliness of the people, their longing to be seen and heard, their need to show themselves, to be big and something special, to teach others by projecting personal fears to the outside world.

Often I ask myself: Why do we share things (personal events, diseases, pictures and videos of our vulnerable children or intimate moments) with the world and many times with people we don’t even know personally - things that in the past we would have shared only with our closest friends?

Why do we run the risk of placing online pictures and information that are personal and intimate without the possibility to control the consequences? Without any influence on what happens to all this?

Are we aware of the fact that many “likes”, “hearts”, blessings, and even condolences also come from people who are not actually interested in us but who might act from a kind of automatism or even perhaps out of fear what we or others might think of them if their “likes” and comments were missing?

When I become aware of the amount of all these posts and comments, I sometimes ask myself how much time people spend on Facebook and why we do this?

But on the other hand, Facebook connects us, it helps us to keep in touch with real friends around the world, get to know new people who we would never have met in “real” life. It might bring us the right quote in the right moment to make our day brighter or to find an answer to a question.

And I am also personally deeply grateful to Facebook as it has connected and is still connecting me with many of you. Without it you might not read this newsletter and we would have never met. It helped me to start the Family Constellations Malta community which is still growing although I don’t live there anymore. For me Facebook had and still has a big positive impact on my personal and professional journey.

So in the end I’ve come to this conclusion:

I think what applies to “real” life applies also to “virtual” life: “Less is more!”

Let us ponder over the things we share:

Do we share from our heart?

One year from the now – would we still be ok with it or would we regret it?

Do our posts encourage and connect others or do they intimidate, provoke or shame others?

Are our words constructive or destructive?

Does our sharing, our likes and comments happen consciously or mechanically?

Do we have read and understood the whole article that we share – or only the title and the fist lines?

Are our loved ones (children, partners, friends) ok with what we share about them – did we ask their permission – do we respect their privacy and opinion?

Is our urge to share our children with the world stronger than our sense of keeping them safe and protected?

And please feel free to continue this kind of questions if you want.

Every one of us contributes to what Facebook is and can be - an overwhelming mass of information that cannot be properly processed or a platform where we connect with our hearts in a respectful way with each other.

I am wishing you a wonderful month of March and I am sending you my best wishes

In the spirit of LOVE and RECONCILIATION

Ursula

MALTA

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