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Dear ,
These last weeks were so busy with preparing constellation workshops, creating new seminars, working with clients, supervision groups and allowing new visions to take shape, that I ended up with an empty (or too crowded?) brain, not really able to think clearly.
For the last two days I was putting myself under pressure, expecting myself to come up with something as easy as every month. It just did not happen.
Eventually, I took a deep breath, and I decided to be kind to myself and share what I had already written; an excerpt from my book – of course, about expectations. I hope you enjoy it.
Healing can only happen through reconciliation by letting go of expectations.
Some people think that being without expectations equals being indifferent. Now, indifference is usually defined as a ‘lack of interest, concern, or sympathy’. But in its root, it contains the meaning of “not making any difference”. In my native language, German, it is the same thing with the word ‘gleichgueltig’ (equally valid).
What happens when we do not make any difference anymore?
We no longer divide between good and bad, right and wrong. We see both sides as equally valid, and our interest in knowing and understanding more goes to both sides. We no longer expect the one or other to be or to happen; we acknowledge both of them. And this is already a certain state of reconciliation.
You may interject that this is possible, maybe for ‘advanced spiritual’ people (whatever that would mean). And I say “no”; this is possible for every one of us when we consciously decide to, at least, try it out and give it a chance. Of course, this would also mean letting go of our stories, which might be the hardest thing to do.
Many aspects define, influence, and shape us. And yet, as human beings, we have free will. We no longer have any influence on what happened to us in the past, but we can decide what we do with it. As Viktor E. Frankl said:
“Man does not simply exist but always decides what his existence will be, what he will become the next moment. By the same token, every human being has the freedom to change at any instant.”
“Man is a being that always decides. And what does he decide? What he will be in the next moment.”
The beautiful thing about constellations is that they help us let go of our expectations. We might come to a workshop with certain expectations, but we quickly understand that it is not about fulfilling them. It is about going beyond and allowing new perspectives to come up by not making any difference regarding what happens. We allow to equally show up what wants to be there, honor it, and surrender to its guidance towards a new awareness, resulting in new actions and reactions. But still, it is our free will to embrace the experience and decide on new steps, or to go back to our old story.
For the month of February, I wish you the ability to look at things from both sides, or even more. To widen your perspective, to become aware of your expectations and the beautiful feeling when you let go of them and just be who you are and give what you can in that moment.
In the spirit of love and reconciliation
Ursula |
